No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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