real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
