i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I don't think brook has ever known best
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
