Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
