I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
