Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
