Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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