he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
that may or may not have been my penis.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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