i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
