If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
