When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
