it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
