Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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