That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
