oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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