was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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