Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
