no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
