I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
