you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We need to get me chipped asap
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
