You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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