for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
