yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize