Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
