Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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