Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
