what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We named our party play list daddy issues
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
