im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
