Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
