What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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