oh god the rape fog is back!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
