Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
