All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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