Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
