i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
