Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I have grass duct taped all over my body
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
