tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize