12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
