It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
