By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
