pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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