just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
bring money and cleavage
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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