Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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