who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I am puke
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
