and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
