Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
