lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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