New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
