Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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