he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
