I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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