We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
