I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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