are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
