Whoa Z and x make the same sound
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
