the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she pinky promised me she was 18
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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