he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
