There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
