i barfeds in our rink
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
