if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize