then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
