first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
