I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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