i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize