some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
