and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Drunk is not a location!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
