Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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