Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you win again, gameday.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
it glows. i had to have it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
