Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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