i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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